After You

I stand over your grave

The sky is dark blue

And I would like to

Lie down beside you

Won't you let me

Curl up and die too?

Room #710B

Empty rooms all around
Running down the hall
Could someone help me, please?
I'm looking for Room #710B
Hoping he might be there to smile at me

The Sea

 You wouldn't find a happier me

If Heaven was like the sea

Salvation

You tell me everything will be alright

I don't believe you anymore

Bitterness crawls through my veins

As you tell me to have faith

Believe in God's grace

My faith was buried

Six feet deep

On a Wednesday in September

I laid it down beside him

And watched with apathy

As dirt swallowed both of them silently

Boy At A Wedding

I met a boy at a wedding
We danced the night away
Under white lights and paper planes

People surrounded us with smiles
His brown eyes were warm
When he bent down to kiss me

I met a boy at a wedding
We spun in circles
Our laughter spilling out

And I felt as though
I had fallen into
A secret fairytale

I met a boy at a wedding
We danced the night away
Under white lights and paper planes

Deaf

You don't listen
Always distracted
With things that
Have to do
With you
Sometimes
When I say your name
Again and again
You'll hold yourself still
Long enough for me
To open my mouth
And forget how to speak
All of these secrets
Keep building up
Inside of me

(I'm Not) Who I Was

This time things will be different

When I pick myself up off the floor

I won't be the person I was before

I keep repeating the lie

Over and over again

Trying to convince myself

To start all over again

Best Friends

What happened to you?
My words hang silent and heavy
Stuck in between you and me
And although I could
Pick your face out from a crowd
I barely recognize you
We're both so different now
It makes me sad
That we both gave up and walked away

Forgotten

I visit a cemetery
Passing slabs of grey
I pause at one
Who were you?
What was your story?
Silence is my only answer
I weave your life
Inside of my mind
Has everyone forgotten you too?

Hit Me With Those Blue Eyes

As your eyes appraise the room
They rest on me
And it's frightening
How quickly
They seem to cut through
Behind your level gaze
And mocking smile
Lies a quiet intensity

Rx

I have a secret
A way to end it all
Hidden away
In the bottom
Of a drawer
I keep it near
Just in case
I can't stay here
Anymore

A Bed That Creaks

I’m spread out across  
A bed that creaks
You settle in
Sinking beside me
Just close enough
To almost touch
Eyes tight with tension
Mouth thin from worry
Words have become
So very obsolete
You reach out
And pull me near
A tight hold
I press myself closer
As time passes slow
We stay still
Lying side by side
On a bed that creaks

The End

Silly girl

Thought I'd be happy now

Nothing left to "fix"

So tell me why

I still feel broken

Contentment

I have never been more content                                        
Hanging out the car window

Wind blowing my hair

Into a wild mess

The Back Yard

Swing, Swing
Back and forth
Sun, sun
Comfort and warmth
Feet, feet
Bare and rough
Wind, wind
Playful and rushed
Love, love
Laughter and hugs
Smile, smile
Mirrored and wide

Color

Show me a picture
Fill the lines in with your dreams
Color your hope in between
Please take me there
Bright as can be
Show me
How to live so colorfully

Asylum

Heartbeat wild
Legs weak
Doors slide shut silently
Can't move forward
Fear creeps through me
Death in the air I breathe
Set my face in a careful mask
Cannot show that I feel weak
Straighten my shoulders
Turn towards you and speak

S.K.

My mind is preoccupied with you

I wonder where you might be

Off to fight in this endless war

Thousands of miles away

Scenarios race through my brain

Of death and pain

Do you ever feel unsure

Of what we’re really fighting for?

I saw you on Sunday

You’re back home 

I wonder for how long this time

You look…blank

A face devoid of anything

What happened to you?

It’s a new year

January 1st

My resolution is about to break

You’re gone again

I have a feeling this time

You won’t be coming back

It’s another Sunday

When I hear the news

Your family is absent

Empty spots in the church pew

Roadside bomb

Six dead

And I know one of them

Was you

Gunfire, salutes and a flag

A brown coffin and black mourners

Color my Thursday

I feel intrusive

Stuck in one place

Unable to move

A slab of grey

Is all that’s left of you

New Year

Goodbye, 2010
You were not kind
I can't say that I regret
Leaving you behind

Pages

I live my life
Between white pages
Quiet and careful
Nothing ever changes
Frightened of what's real
This magic world
Helps me hide
Guarded carefully
From the outside
Your reality is dull
Compared to mine

Underwater

It's calm down here
Quiet and deep
I jumped in quickly
No one heard me leave
The water rippled slightly
But no one turned to see

Comfortable

I was comfortable with being miserable
I didn't want anything more

I was comfortable with being tired
I didn't remember feeling awake

I was comfortable with being alone
I didn't know that love could exist

Astrid Farnsworth

I’m a tough cookie                                                                        

You can’t knock me down

Translating words

Looking after a mad scientist

Taking care of a cow

Hunting alternate people down

I’m a tough cookie

You don’t scare me

In Between

Sand filled eyes

My misery lies

To old to be young

To young to be old

I'm stuck Somewhere

In between

Shadow Man

Shadow man

Shadow man

Catch me if you can

Stealing souls

With the flick of a hand

Oh he has friends

On the other side

Shadow man

Shadow man

Catch me if you can



The Invisible Girl

I am the invisible girl

You don't know my name

Although you've heard it

So many times

Everyday you pass by

Unaware of my stare

I am the invisible girl

Noise

I hate the quiet

Silence is an enemy

Solitude is feared

Pain fills empty spaces

Distractions bring relief

I hate the quiet

So many things to think about

When the noise disappears

Rewind

I would like to move backwards

To a time when I knew

What I wanted

Rewind, rewind
Watch me
Move backwards through time

A place where I felt safe
And things made sense
Oblivious and free
That was how it used to be

Rewind, rewind

Watch me

Move backwards through time

Time

Seconds passing slow

Heart beating fast

Feet shuffling

Glances at a hand

Frustration bubbling

Tears starting to burn

People murmuring

Words that aren’t heard

Love

Quiet contentment

Is how I want love to be

If it should ever

happen to me

Halfway

Irrational thoughts upon a page

Deleted before you could see
How much you mean to me
Six weeks to the day
Not sure that we are okay
But when I see you walk through the door
I’m happier than before

Sometimes... home feels like you

Corner

In a corner

Is where I hide

Safe and sound

From prying eyes

A secret place

That no one can find

Masquerade

We both have parts to play
Different masks for different days
Your sad eyes stare back at me
I’m waiting for someone to see
Our hurt is radiating
This facade is slowly crumbling
　
　

Ephemeral

I take pictures

To prove that I was here

I hang them up

For all to see

So you won’t forget me

Taylor

I love your laugh

So bright and warm

It makes me smile

And want to laugh along

Circles

Round and round I go

Where I stop nobody knows

Faster and faster

Again and again

Gravity, you are no longer my friend.

EXIT

I never see the word EXIT

Without my pulse giving a race

My feet want to run

As though I am being chased

Rainbow

Every once in a while

I look up and see

Colors shining down at me

Circus

I think I’ll join the Circus

They love freaks like me

Then I wouldn’t have to hide constantly

Bed

Today was a boring day

I slept most of it away

Hidden under the blankets

In the middle of the day

Tucked away

Alone

I don’t need you

You don’t need me

Indifferent is the way to be

I don’t need you

You don’t need me

There has never been

A safer place to be

Snapshot

Memories of a swing

Kicking my feet

Back and forth
Trying to touch the sky
Hair thrown wildly behind

20

I recognize that look in your eyes
I know what it’s like
Day after day
Everything stays the same
On repeat
Again and again
When you smile
I like to believe
That things could get better