Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Say something

On the really bad days
We'd hide out
Behind my locked bedroom door
And I would lie to you
Saying my hands were shaking
Because I was cold

On the really bad days
We'd turn up my music
To drown out
The shouting and the slamming doors
We'd sit with our backs
Against my bedroom door
Barricading ourselves away
From the anger down below

On the really bad days
I would tell you stories
Stories that carried a promise
That where we were
Wouldn't be forever
We held on during the battles
And I promised you
We would make it 
Through the war

Thursday, October 24, 2013


I've always had to take care of myself
I was an adult by age thirteen
And responsible for taking care of her


I slipped up
When I gave him everything
Everything he didn't want


He took my lungs
Left me to fall apart
Living without air


I became a ghost 
The forgotten girl in tears
I started to disappear


You pulled me back from the edge
Fear in your eyes
With anger twisting your words


You promised not to leave
And I told you not to make
Promises you couldn't keep

Friday, August 9, 2013


I can tell
That people think
You are dangerous
They avoid your eyes
And move aside
Parting like the sea

The scars that line your face
And twist along your arms
Ending at clenched fists
Tell a half story
And I wonder if anyone knows
What really happened to you
From the beginning 
To the very end

I've heard the rumors
The terrible things
They said were done to you
Always spoken in hushed tones
Behind open hands 
Hands that tried to hide
The ugliness
Of the words spilling out

When you look over at me
I can see the fury in your eyes
And I want to tell you
That I am angry too
None of this
Should have happened 
To you

But I am unsteady
Pushed along by those 
That are behind
So I stumble past you
Thrown back into the chaos
Of the crowded hall
Into a sea of people
That press between us 
And swallow me whole

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

And then you

I stand along the edge
Shouting out
My misery
To the gods 
Who do not listen

Hope is a dead thing 
Blood spit from my mouth 
Hacked away with metal
And her forgiving stare

So I court death 
The only opponent left
With harsh laughter 
And a mocking grin

For I am the god
Of the arena
With the sky above
And her corpse always beside me
I am the victor of empty things

Thursday, June 27, 2013


There is so much anger
Inside of my heart 
As I watch
You suffer 

I want to scream out
Against their convictions
But the words stay twisted
Inside of my mouth

Grief is a strange thing
It rears its head intermittently
Making sure that I don't forget
What's been done to us

There is so much rage 
Inside of my heart
I choke back tears
They never help

Sunday, June 16, 2013


Another rainy day 
Is pouring down outside
I don't want to go out
I'd rather stay in and hide

I'll make myself a home
Under a blanket fort
With vanilla tea
And christmas lights

I'll stack pillows way up high
My books will keep me company
They'll send me far away
From the dreary world waiting outside

Saturday, April 20, 2013

I asked for peace (you gave me a war)

I'm sorry
And I know that's not enough
It doesn't take back what has been done

I'm sorry
I don't know what else to say
I'm just as lost as you

I'm sorry
You and I had to grow up 
Far too soon

Thursday, March 14, 2013


I forget to breathe
The world gets narrow
And my lungs scream

It's like drowning
Or being buried down deep
A prison that only I can see

I get so tired of fighting
And there is no ending
Only a reprieve

Thursday, February 21, 2013


Sometimes I wish
I didn't know you
That I didn't belong
To anyone

It would be easier
To let myself be lost
If I never had anything
To remind me of home

I don't want to have a history
I want to be wiped clean
A painless, glorious, blank thing

Sometimes I wish
I had not met you
That I didn't know your love
So I could be broken
And not belong
To anyone

Sunday, January 27, 2013


When I feel alone and scared
I pull you out of familiar pages
That safe place I call home
I have you stay beside me
And let you help fight off
The ache of my loneliness

I hear you tell me 
That it's gonna be alright
I close my eyes
And try to believe the lie
You never seem to mind
So I let you see me cry

Wednesday, January 2, 2013


There's an aching behind my eyes
You are the same
With words that sound so familiar
Pulled from memories
Sending me back 
To a past 
That is hard to recognize