Want

I want to curl up
And rock away
From this world

I want to scream
And show everyone
I am not permanent

I want to tear my skin
And find 
Whatever is hiding inside

I want to kick and punch
Leave marks and scars
That can be seen

I want to run 
From my tangled mess
It never leaves

Marks

Fingernail indentations

Marked onto my skin

I stare at them silently

As you keep talking

I curl my hand back

Open and close

And I watch them bleed

While you keep talking

I dig in deeper

Trying to unleash

The emptiness inside of me

And you keep talking 

Grey

I was taught my whole life that some things

Would always be black and white
But now that I've begun to explore

I don't know what to believe in anymore

Although I know that black and white

Are the only colors you have ever seen
I feel as though I've been lied to
About the color that lives in between

And now I don't know what to do
This world of grey that I am walking through
Has me so lost and confused

Dressed Up

I've heard the first step is the hardest
That it gets easier with time
But I'm starting to think
Those words are just dressed up lies
Tricking people into believing
Once time moves by
Everything will return
To its original place
Exactly the same
With nothing changed

You tell me the first step is the hardest
That it gets easier with time
But no matter how hard I try
I can't spin back to a past
That I no longer recognize
With chipped memories
And empty spaces
Your words are just dressed up lies

Haven

You tell me everyone leaves
And you don't believe
I will be the exception

I try to hold on tight
But you slip through
As the morning and I
Begin to break

Fight

You've never pushed me around
I've never felt the sting of a slap

But as fists flew from your mouth
They cut and bruised more
Than any punch thrown could

We stood in shocked silence
Startled in the aftermath

After You

I stand over your grave

The sky is dark blue

And I would like to

Lie down beside you

Won't you let me

Curl up and die too?