Try

Sometimes
I forget to breathe
The world gets narrow
And my lungs scream

It's like drowning
Or being buried down deep
A prison that only I can see

Sometimes
I get so tired of fighting
And there is no ending
Only a reprieve

Wishes

Sometimes I wish
I didn't know you
That I didn't belong
To anyone

It would be easier
To let myself be lost
If I never had anything
To remind me of home

I don't want to have a history
I want to be wiped clean
A painless, glorious, blank thing

Sometimes I wish
I had not met you
That I didn't know your love
So I could be broken
And not belong
To anyone

Him

When I feel alone and scared
I pull you out of familiar pages
That safe place I call home
I have you stay beside me
And let you help fight off
The ache of my loneliness

I hear you tell me 
That it's gonna be alright
I close my eyes
And try to believe the lie
You never seem to mind
So I let you see me cry

Ache

There's an aching behind my eyes

You are the same

With words that sound so familiar

Pulled from memories

Sending me back 

To a past 

That is hard to recognize

History

I decided to fight

The year I turned fifteen

I learned how to backslide

The year I turned sixteen

Four words changed everything

The year I turned seventeen

I began to understand independence

The year I turned eighteen

Life began to unravel

The year I turned nineteen

I decided not to leave

The year I turned twenty

I lost my faith 

The year I turned twenty-one

I discovered what it meant to be brave

The year I turned twenty-two

Found

When I found you 

You had raw edges

That stung and cut

With rage filled eyes

And a silent mouth

You were a complication

That I couldn't figure out

When you found me 

You saw bruises up and down

A map of what had gone wrong

Etched without care

It told you everything

And nothing all at once

Once upon a time

My life is a fairytale

I am not the beauty

I am the beast

Ugly and twisted

With no one able to love me